Three weeks ago, I asked my 16-year-old son to vacuum our flat. Seeing my request was consistently ignored, I decided to go on a cleaning strike, hoping the mess would eventually compel him to act. How naive of me.
After many threats and losing my temper more than I would have liked, he finally gave in last night. Or so I thought. Reflecting on my (ineffective) single parenting of two teenage boys, I could hear the vacuum cleaner running.
Yet this morning, after hearing Livio’s familiar door slam as he left for school, I was dismayed to find the vacuum cleaner on display in the middle of the living room and the same dog hair balls in every corner.
When I later complained about the ineffective vacuuming, Livio replied, “You just told me to vacuum; you never said to do it well!”
His adolescent rhetoric made me feel duped. Now it also sparked a reflection on my management practices: You can’t complain about not getting what you didn’t explicitly ask for.
Often, we expect teammates or direct reports to read our minds and perform tasks exactly as we envision them. We assume our standards of quality or perfection are universal, shaped by our own values and experiences. As Anaïs Nin wisely said, “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
Ambiguous expectations can harm team dynamics and performance. Edgar Schein, a renowned organizational psychologist, noted: “One of the most damaging things a manager can do is to provide ambiguous or unclear performance expectations. Without clear goals, employees cannot understand what is required to succeed and are left to guess what the manager wants.”
Sometimes, managers are simply too lazy to define and articulate what a deliverable should look like. This is why Key Performance Indicators (KPIs) were invented, though even they are not always sufficient. Without clear qualitative indicators, colleagues are set up for failure, creating an imbalanced power dynamic.
A 2018 Harvard Business Review article highlights the importance of clear expectations: “Setting clear, measurable expectations is not just about guiding employees; it’s about creating a fair environment where they can succeed and where managers can provide constructive feedback.”
Earlier today, I received a LinkedIn InMail from a co-SIPA alumnus, Dean Constantine S., praising my writing. He precisely outlined what he liked about two of my recent posts and why, even quoting from them. This kind of specific feedback is tremendously motivating and helps one make tangible progress.
Fostering a positive and productive work environment requires clearly defined expectations, alongside regular, precise, and constructive feedback.
Easier said than done.
While I’m eager to see results from my parenting efforts, I can only thank Livio for pushing me to reinvent myself daily.
hashtag#whosaidparentingwaseasy
Les meilleures histoires rendent l’intime universel
Je n’ai jamais eu l’impression de m’intéresser particulièrement à Françoise Hardy. Elle ne figurait d’ailleurs pas dans ma liste d’artistes
